Goodnight June and Almost Famous Women

I just finished two wonderful books - Goodnight June by Sarah Jio and Almost Famous Women by Megan Mayhew Bergman.

If you are a parent, or have spent any time around small children, then you probably know the book Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown. It is a favorite of all children, as its rhymes are as soothing as a lullaby, and children love finding the mouse on each page.

Goodnight June is about a young woman who inherits her great-aunt's bookshop, and discovers a correspondence detailing the great friendship between Margaret Wise Brown and her great-aunt.  Although you know it is fiction, you really want it to be true, because their friendship is so wonderful.

It is a love story, both romantic love and familial love. But it is not saccharine or too mushy. It involves a mystery and a great twist at the end. But most of all, it is a book that warms your heart.

This book made me cry (which is a good thing, I promise), and left me feeling happy when I finished it. I will certainly look for Jio's previous books the next time I am at the library.

Before I tell you about Almost Famous Women, I will disclose that Megan is my sister-in-law's sister (my brother's wife's sister). So I might be a little prejudiced :-).

Almost Famous Women is a collection of short stories about women whose stories have been lost in time. From Oscar Wilde's niece to a lesbian speed boat racer heiress, the women in Bergman's stories are fascinating. She begins with the kernel of truth, and builds great fiction around each true story.

At the end is a list of the real people the stories reference, with information on where she found the information.  She describes her journeys into the Internet to research these women as going down a rabbit hole, and it is an apt description!

Bergman is a very talented writer. She uses words well to illustrate a scene, a person, a situation, that you feel she really knew them and was there.  This is her second book of short stories. She is originally from North Carolina, but now lives in Vermont with her husband and two adorable girls.

Almost Famous Women will be in bookstores on January 6, and she will be appearing in North Carolina at several bookstores to promote her book. Dates and places are below.  More information can be found on her website.

Monday, January 12
7 PM
Regulator Bookshop
Durham, NC

Tuesday, January 13
7 PM
Quail Ridge Books
Raleigh, NC

Wednesday, January 14
7 PM
Flyleaf Books
Chapel Hill, NC

Thursday, January 15
7 PM
Malaprop's Bookstore
Asheville, NC 

 

The Week of Baking!

Last week was a fun (if sometimes stressful) week for me.  I am a proud member of the Alamance County Service League, and we had a great fundraising event this Saturday, the Holly Days Bazaar!  One of the biggest parts of of Holly Days is our bake sale, where you can purchase homemade cakes, pies, cookies, spiced nuts, cheeseballs and other yummy treats.

I made a lot of great desserts last week, and I planned to post this before the event (to entice all you locals to come buy our fabulous desserts and do a little shopping from our vendors)! But that didn't happen. So here are my favorite recipes. I hope you enjoy them this holiday season!

Chocolate Chip Pecan Pie

1 c sugar

1/2 c flour

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

1 stick melted butter (cooled)

1 c chopped pecans

1 small bag (8 oz) chocolate chips

9-inch deep dish pie crust

Melt butter and let cool. Mix in sugar, eggs, flour and vanilla. Stir in chocolate chips and pecans. Pour in pie crust and bake at 325 degrees for 45 minutes to an hour.

    

When I make this pie, I usually make two of them! It is really easy to double it (and a regular, 12 oz bag of chocolate chips split in half is enough chips for two pies, although buying the big pound bag and splitting it in half works, too).

Yum Yum!

Oatmeal Caramelitas

14 oz bag of caramels

1 sm can evaporated milk (or a little less than 1/2 c regular milk)

2 c flour

2 c oats

1 1/2 c brown sugar

1 tsp baking soda

1 1/2 c (3 sticks) butter, melted

12 oz chocolate chips

Unwrap caramels and put in glass bowl.  Add milk.  Put in microwave and melt (start at 3 mins., stir, then keep heating until fully melted).

  

Combine flour, oats, brown sugar, baking soda and melted butter.  Press 1/2 of crumb mixture in a 9 x 13 pan.  Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.

  

Take out of oven, and sprinkle chocolate chips over crust.  Spread caramel mixture over chips.

Top with remaining crust crumbs.

    

Bake for 20 minutes.

Cut when completely cool.

Can you see the ooey, gooey, yumminess from this picture????

Chocolate Cake with Truffle Frosting (from Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook)

2 1/4 c flour

1 tsp baking powder

3/4 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

2/3 c butter

1 3/4 c sugar

2 eggs

3 oz unsweetened chocolate, melted and cooled

1 tsp vanilla

1 1/4 c water

     

Grease and lightly flour two 9 x 1 1/2 inch round baking pans or one 13 x 9 x 2 pan; set aside.  Melt chocolate and set aside to cool.

Stir together flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

In large mixing bowl, beat the butter with electric mixer on medium to high speed for 30 seconds. Add sugar; beat until well combined.  

Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each. Beat in chocolate and vanilla.  Add dry mixture and 1 1/4 c water alternately to beaten mixture, beating on low speed after each addition until just combined. (What that means - add 1/4 of flour mixture, and beat, then 1/4 of water, then beat, then next fourth of flour mixture, beat, then more water, and so on, until you've added it all.)  Pour batter into the prepared pan(s).

            

Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes or until a wooden toothpick comes out clean.  Cool layers in pans on wire racks for 10 minutes.  Remove cakes from pans, and cool completely on racks.  Or, place 13 x 9 cake on wire rack and cool completely before frosting.

Truffle Frosting

1 1/2 c whipping cream

1/4 c light colored corn syrup

1 12 oz package (2 c) semisweet chocolate chips

1 tsp vanilla

In medium heavy saucepan, bring whipping cream and corn syrup to a simmer.  Remove from heat. Stir in chocolate pieces and vanilla; let stand for 2 minutes.  Whisk the mixture until smooth and melted. Cover and chill for about 1 1/2 hours or until mixture reaches spreading consistency, stirring occasionally. Beat with electric mixer until fluffy. This frosts tops and sides of two layer cakes.

NOTE: For Holly Days, I make this a three-layer cake.  While the cake recipe itself does not need to be increased (usually, you have to make 1 1/2 times of a recipe to go from a two-layer to a three-layer, but I tried that, and believe me, the three layers did NOT fit in my cake dome!), I do usually need a bit more frosting.  I tend to just double it, and have extra frosting (YUM!).

I forgot to take a picture of the cake, frosted in all its glory, so you'll just have to take my word that it looks yummy!

I think the best part about the Holly Days bake sale is that everything is homemade (and sometimes looks it). Yes, we do a great presentation, with beautiful bows, and some of us are talented enough to put pecans around the edges of our cakes, or top our cakes with crushed nuts or shaved chocolate.  But we take pride in our baking, and do our best to sell cakes, pies, cookies and other treats that taste as good as they look!  And if we are not great bakers, we find someone who is to help us out who is.

Happy holidays, everyone!

In Defense of Public Schools

This is a post I have been working on for a couple of weeks now.  I have found it hard to write, partially because I am so passionate about my child's education, and partially because I found myself worrying that I would offend my friends who have chosen to send their kids to private school.

So I will say at the beginning that there are many, many wonderful reasons to choose to send your child to a private school, or a charter school, or a "school within a school" such as language immersion or a magnet program. You have to do what is right for your child(ren), your family, and there is nothing wrong with your decision.

But SO many people in my socioeconomic bracket are choosing these other options, and opting out of their neighborhood public school, and that is sad. It is sad for that school, because they lost out on a great kid, and great parents who would be involved in that school. It is sad because the more parents who pull their kids out, the more the other parents question whether they should pull their kids, too. It is sad for me because there is only one other kid at our church who goes to his school, and she is several years older than him.

So I am going to focus on my kid's school, and all the wonderful things we have experienced there.

My son goes to a Title I school.  For those of you not in the know, that means that more than half of the children at the school are from low-income households.  Racially, my son's school is pretty evenly split into thirds: white/Caucasian, Hispanic, and African American. It is a diverse school, in a lot of different ways, and I think that is a wonderful thing.

If you look strictly at test scores at his school, you would wonder if the learning environment was a good one.  But when you look at the makeup of his school (high rate of poverty, children whose families that are homeless or transient, English as a Second Language students and students whose parents don't speak much English), you see that test scores don't ever tell the whole story.

When you walk through the school, you will see so much more.

The administration is dedicated.  They are in the classrooms, participating in school events, checking up on children that they know might not have a coat for the winter, or something to eat that weekend.

Teachers are doing what they can to help their class succeed.  Many of our teachers have children at our school (showing that they believe that their colleagues are going to do a great job with their children).  They collaborate with the other teachers on their grade level to share techniques that worked in their classrooms, and share the responsibility of coming up with great lesson plans.  They work with teachers at other grade levels to make sure that every child enters the next grade well prepared.

I did an informal survey at the end of last year (Kindergarten), and found that my son (and his classmates) had learned more sight words than any other kid I knew in public school, and at least as many as his friend in private school. Some schools in our district taught Kindergarten students 40 sight words by the end of the year (part of List A). The kids at my son's school learned at least 50 by winter break, and all 100 on List A by March. My son actually went into First Grade knowing most of the words on List C, because his teacher had blown through List A by December, List B by March or April, and started on List C. She is passionate about her kids learning as many sight words as possible because that fosters reading skills, and she is working with the district to implement standards so that all Kindergarten students will learn at least 100 words, rather than 40, in their first year.

We also have incredible "specials" teachers who are dedicated to introducing our children to art, music, computers, physical education, science and the library.  We have a choral group, an orchestra, and a small but dedicated PTO that presents fun events for kids and their families, purchases items for classrooms and encourages school pride.

I know a lot of teachers, and they will all say that any student can be a successful one if they believe in themselves.  What success means varies from child to child, but I think we all would agree that it would be a better world if all children graduated from high school with a goal and a way to achieve that goal, whether that meant a technical school, community college, or four year college.

How do you achieve that? One way is to start early.  At my son's school, they are already talking about college and career preparedness. The 3rd-5th graders visit different colleges and universities, as well as our district's C-TEC (Career and Technical Education Center), where high school students can take classes in fields such as nursing, computer science, engineering, culinary arts and automotive maintenance, most of which are for college credit in partnership with our local community college.

But sometimes, all of this isn't enough.  Scores are still low, because of factors that can't be controlled in the classroom, and because a test doesn't always show all that a child has learned.  So it is discouraging when you are judged just by a number on test.

That doesn't mean that our school isn't working its hardest to pull up those test scores, but not so that they get a pat on the back.  Rather, they want those score to increase because that means that more kids are learning to read well before third grade.  It means that the kids who live in households that speak Spanish at home are becoming truly bilingual, and that perhaps their parents are becoming better at English as well.  It means that despite all the things that could be holding a child back - lack of food, shelter, and clothing, lack of parental support - our school is doing all that it can to overcome those barriers and give a hand up to a child.

I have more to say on this topic, but I will leave that for another day :-). I will finish with this story:

Last year, a Hispanic parent came to an information session at our school about reading, and asked how she could help her child because she (the mother) didn't read or speak English well.  The teachers told her to learn alongside her child, or even have her child teach her.  It was a great answer, and, to me, a testament to how much she valued her child's education that she wanted to make such an effort. The teachers followed up with that parent after the session was over, to give her additional resources that could help her and her family with learning English.

Now doesn't that give you a better picture of my son's school than any test score? Parents who are doing their best, teachers who are not only helping the students, but their entire family, and a school administration that invited parents to come learn more about what their children were learning and how they could help them. That is the definition of a good school, and I am proud to be a parent of a child there!

Quick and Easy Dinners - Greek Pita Pizzas and Summertime Fresh Salsa Pizzas

On Sunday, I was feeling pretty good after uploading my blog post.

That lasted about 5 minutes, until I realized that the beef with barley soup I was planning on making and eating that night should have been started, oh, about two hours before.

Oops.

I did start it, and we ate it for dinner Monday and Tuesday nights, and it was yummy.

But back to Sunday night - I needed something quick but tasty for dinner, and decided to go with one of our tried and true favorites, Greek Pita Pizzas.

And since they are so easy to make, I am also including the recipe for another easy, different from the norm, pizza , the Summertime Fresh Salsa Pizza.

Greek Pita Pizzas

1/4 small red onion, chopped
4-6 pepperoncini peppers, sliced
1 sm can sliced black olives
1 package of small pitas (6 inch? you want the fat kind, not the thin kind - I used wheat, but white are okay, too)
1 container hummus (red pepper, garlic, original - up to you)
1 container feta cheese (can use regular or low-fat, chunk or crumbled)
1 container bacon bits (I use the real bacon kind, but the other would be fine, too)

Here are all my ingredients! 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Put foil on a large baking sheet, and put four pitas on the baking sheet.  Spread hummus over pitas.  I usually use most of a container.

Chop up red onion.  Chop pepperoncini peppers (I bought the kind that was already chopped last time, and that makes this recipe even easier!).  Open can of black olives.

Put as little or as much red onion as you'd like on each pita.  Ditto for the pepperoncini peppers and black olives.  Sprinkle feta cheese on top (crumbling it if you have a block of cheese rather than the precrumbled).  Sprinkle bacon bits on top.

Cook for 10 minutes or so, until everything is hot.

And that is it!  SO easy, and so yummy.  My husband and I eat two each, which we probably shouldn't do, but they taste so good!

As for my second recipe, I don't have pictures, but it is just as easy as the first.  This recipe came from Cooking Light, although I can't find it on their website.  I have altered the recipe somewhat for our tastes!

Summertime Fresh Salsa Pizzas

1 package pitas (for these, the thinner, larger pitas work better, but again, white or wheat work fine)
1 can refried beans (I often use the refried black beans)
1 package taco seasoning (optional)
1 cup chicken (optional)
1 container fresh pico de gallo (sold in produce section of the grocery store or at farmers' markets), or homemade pico de gallo (you want chunky salsa, not runny)
2 cups cheese (cheddar, mexican, or pepperjack)
1 bag of shredded lettuce
sour cream (regular or low-fat)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Cover large baking sheet with foil, and put four pitas on it.  Put them in oven while oven is preheating, flipping after a few minutes, to crisp the pitas.

Cook refried beans in small pot.  I usually add some taco seasoning (add some, stir well, taste, and repeat until you're happy) and sometimes some chicken, if I have some already cooked that was left over from another dish.  But the chicken and the taco seasoning are optional!

Once beans are warm and bubbly, the pitas ought to be crisp.  Spread beans over pitas.  Put pico de gallo on top of beans.  The amount of salsa on each can vary, depending on how spicy you want your pizza to be.  Add cheese on top - as much as you would like!

Cook for 10 minutes, or until cheese is melted and everything is good and hot.

Take pizzas out of oven, and put on plates.  Top with shredded lettuce and sour cream.  My husband sometimes adds more salsa to his.

One of these is more than enough to fill you up, unlike the first recipe, so we wrap up the other two in foil and enjoy them the next day.

So there you have it - my two favorite, easy, pita pizza recipes!  I hope you enjoy!

The Sweet Spot

It is Sunday afternoon, and as I think back on the week, I realize that we have hit our sweet spot with our son.  I am sure there will be other sweet spots in his life, but this is a pretty great one.

He is seven, and I swear is growing every night in his sleep.

In looking for Christmas gifts for him, I was reminded again and again that he is no longer a little kid.

But he is still very loving and kind, and he still talks to his parents about what is going on in his life.

Hence, the sweet spot...

Old enough to dress himself, but not so old that he refuses to wear a coat to school.

Old enough to reason with, but not so old that he doesn't admit when Mom was right and thank me for it.

Old enough to help us rake leaves on a sunny Saturday, but not so old that he sees it as a chore, rather than a fun activity.

Old enough to play complex board games, but not so old he would rather play with his friends than his parents.

The perfect example this week: on Tuesday, he woke up with a cold and cough.  He didn't feel great on Tuesday, but woke up Wednesday feeling worse.  I debated about keeping him home from school, but he didn't have a fever, so I decided he didn't feel bad enough to justify missing school (by the way, I think this is the hardest part of being a parent, the choosing of what exactly is bad enough to stay home from school, and what just has to be endured).  But Wednesday night, I told him he had to take cold medication.

I will do a commercial for Mucinex Kids Multi-Symptom Cold, because that is our wonder drug for him.  It doesn't have any pain medication, but it decongests his nose, and has both the expectorant and cough suppressant.

My little guy HATES to take medicine.  In the past, we have had to hold him down and use a dosing syringe, squirting it at the inside of his cheek.  In the more recent past, I've held the dosing cup and "helped" him pour it in his mouth, and watched it dribble out the sides of his mouth and all over his PJs (argh).

This is a kid who doesn't like the taste of juice, or sugary/chewy candy with artificial flavors.  So the fact that the box advertises it is "Triple Berry Flavor" or "Bubble Gum Flavor" does nothing for him.

But this time, he picked up the cup, and drank it, without spilling it.  Then he went to bed.  I went into his room the next morning, and he greeted me with,

"Mom, I slept GREAT!  That medicine really helped."

Wow.

How great was that???  I felt like a superstar mom.  I went around all day telling people what he had said.

I know that in just a few years, he will not be as willing to acknowledge that his mom was right about something.  I know that probably by the end of the week, I will make a mistake, and he will be right there to tell me about it.

But for one shining moment, I was the mom who had gotten it right, and had the son singing my praises to prove it.

Recipe Wednesday - Chicken Fried Rice

I got busy this week, so my Recipe Wednesday has turned into Recipe Thursday.  But that's okay!

Any A Christmas Story fans out there?  Don't you love that they go eat Chinese food for Christmas dinner when the dogs eat the turkey?  Because, let's face it, turkey and all the fixings are good, but sometimes a good stir fry is even better.

This recipe for Chicken Fried Rice is amazing.  It really tastes as good as, or better than, restaurant versions.  The tricks are to use the right kind of rice, fresh veggies, and sriracha hot sauce to add a bit of a kick!  The recipe is from Southern Living, and will feed 6-8 people (depending on how hungry everyone is).  In our house, since my son won't eat it, we make 1/2 the recipe for two nights in a row.  It is not bad reheated, but tastes better if it is freshly made.

Chicken Fried Rice

3 TB vegetable oil, divided
4 large eggs, lightly beaten
3/4 c diced onion (1 small onion)
3/4 c diced red (or green) bell pepper (1 small pepper)
1 lb green beans, trimmed and cut in 1 1/2 inch pieces (thin are best, but any fresh beans will do - the thicker ones just need to cook awhile longer)
2 c chopped cooked chicken (I use rotisserie chicken as a time saver)
4 c cooked basmati rice
1/3 c soy sauce
2-3 tsp chili sauce (sriracha hot sauce)
sliced green onions and/or sliced almonds (toasted if you want), optional

Chop up veggies.  As you can see from the picture, this time I added some sliced mushrooms because I had them in the fridge.  I love mushrooms, so they were a great addition.

Cook the rice per package instructions.

Heat 1 TB oil in skillet over medium-high heat for one minute; add eggs and cook, gently stirring, 1-2 mins or until softly scrambled.  Remove eggs and chop.  Put aside.

Heat 2 TB oil in skillet; add onion, bell pepper and green beans, and stir fry 3-4 minutes (longer if you don't have thin green beans), or until crisp-tender.  How do you know they're ready? The onions will be slightly translucent, the green peppers will be softening, and the green beans will still be crunchy, but will be hot all the way through and taste good.

Add chicken, and stir fry 2 mins. Add rice, soy sauce, and chili sauce; stir fry 3-4 mins or until thoroughly heated and mixed together. (At this point, if we're not quite ready to eat yet, I will turn the burner on its lowest setting, and just let the stir fry sit, stirring occasionally.)

If you want green onions, slice them (I use both the white and green parts).  If you want almonds, either open the package and pour them into a small serving bowl, or get out a little skillet and toast them.  I am certain they taste better toasted, but it tastes great even without the toasting.  Or you can add neither of these things, and it will still be great!

Right before you're ready to serve, stir in egg.  Put on plates, or in a large bowl if you're serving it family style.  Add toppings on plates, or put toppings out for everyone to choose from.  We also put the soy sauce and sriracha hot sauce on the table, and add a bit of both to make the dish more tangy!

Here's what it looks like on your plate - yummy!

Food Wars

Before I had my son, I watched other parents fight the Food Wars.  They threatened, they bargained, they made separate meals.

And I said, that will never be me.  MY child will eat what is on the table, or not at all!

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Every young child realizes that one of the few things they can truly control is what goes in their mouths, and when.  Children are little dictators, and so they are completely willing to fight trying a new food (or even eating a food they used to like, but now have decided they despise).  Hence, the Food Wars.  But what we do as parents can either sustain that war, or defuse the situation.

The bottom line is that what works for one child might not work for another, even in the same family. You can spend your meal time fighting, or you can find a compromise that works.  And our compromise is probably more radical that most.

Yes, I make my son his own meal almost every night.  Actually, it is every third night or so, because I make enough to last for three nights.  So how did this happen?

In our case, there are some mitigating factors that not everyone sees, which is why I think it is important to share why we chose the path we did.

1. My son has Sensory Processing Disorder.  New foods mean new textures.  From an early age, certain foods have made him gag or choke.  He seems to be outgrowing this, but I as a parent need to understand that it is not just him exerting control when he doesn't want to try a new food.  That food may have a strange look, or smell, or feel, that makes his brain send out signals that say, "DANGER!"  Even if your child doesn't have sensory issues, they still might have an aversion to certain smells and tastes and textures.
   
2. He eats healthier than we do.  So what does he eat every night?  I cook a chicken breast in olive oil and a spice mix every third night (frozen breasts, individually wrapped from BJ's Warehouse, that are already trimmed).  I cook a steam-in-the-bag veggie mix that includes broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots, or cook a can of carrots with a little brown sugar and cinnamon.  He also has eaten canned green beans and green peas in the past, but really prefers the steamed veggies.
   
3. The opposite side of the coin of #2 - what he doesn't like isn't exactly food I should be pushing him to eat on a regular basis.  He doesn't eat cheese, pasta, hamburgers, hot dogs, pizza or any kind of dipping sauce.  He eats raw carrots by themselves.  Should I push him to dip them in fat-drenched dressings just to expand his food repertoire? And he doesn't like juice, either.  Should I make him drink juice, rather than the much more healthy water and milk he does consume?
   A few months ago, we were attending a sacraments workshop at church with our son, and the pastor was talking about communion.  He passed around the bread, and each kid took some bread.  Then he passed around the grape juice cups.  My son said, very politely, "No thank you," and passed the juice cups on.  Yes, my child is the only kid who takes communion without the juice.  But hey, at least he was polite!
   
4. Cheese may or may not give him migraines.  We are pretty sure he had migraines when he was a baby (6-18 months).  They stopped after we stopped giving him Zantac for acid reflux, but one migraine incident happened after he ate some cheddar cheese.  Cheddar cheese is a known trigger for migraines, so do you think I am EVER going to push my child to eat cheddar cheese?
   
5. My husband and I get to eat what we enjoy (at home, at least).  We are never worried that something we pick isn't going to be something he will eat.

But I admit, there are downfalls to this, too.  Eating out is a pain.  Most children's menus are almost entirely made up of food he doesn't eat - pizza, mac and cheese, cheese quesadillas, hamburgers, hot dogs, grilled cheese sandwiches.  The one thing he will eat are chicken fingers and fries, which is not the most healthy choice (not that any of the other choices are all that healthy, either).  And some restaurants plop down the most unappetizing chicken nuggets that obviously have come from a bag in the freezer.  That does not make us want to come back!

My husband and I love Mexican, Thai, Chinese and Italian foods.  Our little guy doesn't like rice (it chokes him), beans, pasta or spicy foods.  That pretty much rules out our favorite things that we would LOVE to share with him.  That is really frustrating as a parent!

My biggest concern is that I want him to be able to go to a sleepover at a friend's house and not have to pack his own dinner.  I do not want to ask friends to cook a special meal for him.  I want him to go to parties and choose to eat one slice of pizza or a few bites of a hamburger (even if it isn't what he would choose to eat otherwise).  I want him to to be able to go into any restaurant and find something that he will eat.

But I also have to recognize that trying new foods is truly a scary experience for him.  That doesn't mean that he should always avoid them, but rather that he needs to set the pace.  No one wins in the Food Wars if every meal is a battle.

And that is true for any family, regardless of whether your child has sensory issues, or is just a picky eater, or is stubborn as a mule (or all three).  If all your child will eat is mac and cheese, then sneak some veggies in there.  If they only like chicken nuggets, then tell them that the store is out and they get grilled chicken strips instead.  What worked for us was telling him we were going to Disney World, and that Disney didn't serve nuggets for dinner.  He tried baked chicken, and has eaten ever since.  I know The Greatest Place on Earth probably would have served him nuggets (even if it wasn't on the menu), but, hey, it worked, and I am not going to feel bad about that!

In general, I agree with the principle of putting food on the table (making sure there is at least one thing your children will eat) and saying, this is dinner, eat or don't eat, but we're not going to whine about it or cry, or argue.  If your child truly has issues (like mine) then you probably have to take a gentler approach, and introduce foods more slowly.  But any time that all of your energy is focused on a child who isn't eating, and not on your own plate, is a losing proposition.

I have been told by parents with older children that he will eventually outgrow some of the sensory issues that have plagued him.  I can really see progress in the last couple of years (he ate a bite of rice without gagging! He eats deviled eggs!  He ate the crust off the slice of pizza!), which gives me hope that one day, when he is a teenager eating me out of house and home, I will look back fondly on the days he had his own meal and left ours alone!

Recipe Wednesday - A Healthy, Yummy Salad!

My husband came to me on Sunday, and said he'd heard this great recipe on The Splendid Table for Farro-Chickpea Salad with Sunflower Seeds.  I tease him for listening to this show (and NPR in general).  It's not that I don't listen to NPR, but not with the same fervor as my husband.

However, we are always looking for new recipes to try, and we are fairly adventurous souls, so I said, sure!  We did have to substitute several items.  The original recipe says that farro is available in most Italian grocery stores.  Those are pretty scare in the small(ish) NC town I live in.  I also could not find ricotta salata, or sunflower oil.  Luckily, there are easy substitutes for all of these!  I took one bite, before the flavors had even had time to mix, and swooned.  I texted my husband immediately and told him he had picked a winner!

This recipe makes enough for a potluck supper, or a larger family than ours!  My son is not an adventurous eater; he actually eats much the same thing every night (and the fact that we make him a separate meal is a subject for another blog post in the future).  So it was just my husband and I, eating large servings for lunch and dinner. The next time I make it just for us, I will probably half the recipe.

So here's my lower-brow version of the salad.  The recipe's origins are below the recipe - I want to give credit where credit is due.

Barley-Chickpea Salad with Sunflower Seeds

• 2 cups pearled barley
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1 pound asparagus, trimmed and cut into 1-inch pieces
• 1 1/2 cups cooked chickpeas or one 15-ounce can, drained and rinsed
• 1 pint grape tomatoes, cut in half lengthwise
• 1 small red onion, cut into small dice
• 1 cup (5 ounces) sunflower seeds, toasted (I used roasted sunflower seeds, so I didn't toast them again)
• 1/2 cup chopped Kalamata olives
• 2 cups (8 ounces) crumbled feta
• 1/4 cup red wine vinegar
• 1/2 cup olive oil
• 1/2 cup chiffonade of fresh basil or 1 TB dried basil
• Freshly ground black pepper

1. Place the barley and 1 teaspoon salt in a large saucepan and add enough cold water to cover by 4 inches. Bring to a simmer over medium heat and cook until tender, about 20 minutes. Drain in a colander and rinse with cold water. Transfer to a serving bowl large enough to hold the remaining ingredients.  (I would make sure to get Pearled Barley, not Quick Cooking Barley. I think the quick cooking kind would get mushy, and you don't want mushy).

 

 2. While the barley is simmering, cook the asparagus in a pot of boiling water with 1 tablespoon salt for 2 minutes. Drain well, rinse in cold water, and add to the cooled barley.

3. Add the remaining ingredients and toss. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

  

 

4. Keep the salad at a cool room temperature for 1 hour or cover and refrigerate for up to 2 days. Bring to room temperature at least 1 hour before serving.

Excerpted from In A Nutshell: Cooking and Baking with Nuts and Seeds by Cara Tannenbaum and Andrea Tutunjian. Copyright © 2014 by Cara Tannenbaum and Andrea Tutunjian. 

This would be a great side dish to bring to a holiday party or family dinner.  It tastes fresh, and a little tangy, but is not something that would overpower the main dishes.  Other than the cheese, it is even vegan!  Or you can be like us and enjoy it as a main dish.

My husband prefers his cold, straight from the fridge.  I like mine heated in the microwave! I served it with a toasted sunflower bread, but I think any crusty, strong bread would work.

Enjoy!

Big Time Sports

I am a proud graduate of UNC-Chapel Hill. But I am not proud of what I learned in the last few years about how members of the UNC faculty, staff and sports personnel put sports above academics.

However, I can't say that I am surprised that some members of our illustrious sports teams were not able to keep their GPAs high enough to participate without (a lot) of extra help.

I entered UNC in 1992, right before all of this allegedly began.  I remember many conversations the next year about an athlete who was retaking his SAT to get his score high enough to meet the minimum standard.  The score he had received previously was less than many people I knew had made when they had taken the SAT in middle school for the Duke TIP program.  So I definitely wondered how he was going to succeed in the classes I was taking if he couldn't even make the SAT score many UNC attendees made in middle school.

I think we all were complicit in not questioning these things more.  There is nothing better than going to a game, cheering on your team, and watching them win. Revenue sports bring in alumni money and support from other donors, money from TV broadcasts, sponsorships and licensing deals.  That money builds beautiful stadiums and arenas, as well as supporting the rest of the school with scholarships and money used to entice the best professors.  And for too long, we looked the other way when it came to academics.

I think even if you go back to much earlier eras, you would find athletes that were not quite up to par academically at UNC and many other schools.  They probably had tutors and extra help, and were steered towards classes that weren't as academically challenging.  The quote below from the Wainstein Report says it best:

Academically elite universities like Chapel Hill often feel a tension between their high academic standards and the effort to build a strong athletic program. One symptom of this tension is that academically selective schools often feel it necessary to admit academically under-prepared athletes in order to field competitive teams. They do so with the expectation that the inclusion of such student-athletes will be a mutually enriching experience; the university benefits from having the student-athletes’ special talents and the student-athletes benefit from getting access to an excellent education.

This is a perfectly legitimate and laudable approach to admissions, and it has resulted in countless success stories where such student-athletes have excelled both on the field and in the classroom. At the same time, the admission of under-prepared student-athletes presents universities with difficult challenges, as many require intensive academic support and remedial instruction, and even with this assistance some continue to struggle when confronting the demanding academic curriculum of an academically elite university. 

But in the end, some at UNC crossed the line between legitimate help and illegitimate acts whose sole purpose was to keep athletes academically eligible.

One of things I find most interesting is an aspect that not every media outlet has covered: the fact that not only athletes benefited from these "paper" classes.  Some people inadvertently took the classes, and worked hard on their papers.  Others were steered there by school advisers or friends, having been told that the classes required nothing more than writing a paper at the end.  Some of those people even knew the paper's actual content had little to do with the grade assigned.  Others just knew it was an easy way to bring up your GPA, or lessen your load during a semester when you were taking challenging classes.

During my first semester at UNC, I realized that my high school had truly prepared me for college, but that not all people were so lucky.  It is not just athletes who get to UNC, then struggle to keep up. There are a lot of students, that for various reasons, get to college and realize that they don't have the writing skills, study skills, or basic knowledge in math and science to take the entry level college courses.  Then they have to find the resources at their school and talk to their professors (some who are not very approachable) about extra help, all of this while they are adjusting to being away from home and being a (somewhat) responsible adult for the first time.  Some find the resources they need, and make it through; others drop out.

I love that my son's elementary school talks about college readiness with the children and the parents. They know that you don't start getting ready for college your junior year of high school.  You have to start laying the foundation early, or you're already behind.

The sad fact is, some athletes are taught from an early age to focus on their sport, and not worry about academics.  Their sports prowess is seen as their "golden ticket" and everyone, from their parents to their teachers to their peers, help them slide through school with the minimum amount of work.  But that is cheating them out of the opportunity to be a great student, and not just a great athlete.  Moreover, what good does that do for the student who has a career-ending injury?  How does that help if he or she doesn't become a professional athlete, and "goes pro in something other than sports," as the NCAA proudly advertises?

I don't have the answers.  The problem is more systemic than just colleges and universities, because this emphasis on sports begins in elementary school, and kids are entering Kindergarten already behind their peers in reading and math readiness, vocabulary and social skills.  But that is a whole other blog topic...

On the college level, one possibility is to take away the athletic scholarship and only admit those who are academically eligible to attend your school.  This probably will never happen, because college sports is too much of a cash cow for schools.

More moderately, we could reduce the amount of "special circumstance admissions," which is what schools like UNC use to admit athletes that do not have the scores and grades to get in otherwise.  Would our teams suffer on the field or court? Possibly, but if every school did the same, and leveled the playing field, it would be okay, eventually.  And we would feel better about ourselves, our university, and feel we were not exploiting our athletes.  There are athletes out there that are both academically smart as well as smart on the football field or basketball court, and we need to be enrolling and playing them.

Going hand in hand with this would have to be a more robust development league for pro sports.  If your life skill really is that you are great with a football, basketball, baseball or puck, and academics aren't your thing, then there is no reason for you to pretend to be a student.  I would hope that these athletes would have a backup plan, in case things don't work out the way they expect, but maybe that is a life lesson we all have to learn.

Colleges and universities also need to do a better job of helping all students succeed.  It is too easy to slip through the cracks, especially at a big school,  Every school has resources, such as a Writing Center, tutoring programs, and advisers.  They should be advertised early and often to incoming students.  And students need to take the responsibility of seeking help before it is too late, and not relying on the easy way out.

There are no easy answers, and I hate that it was my school that brought all of this to light.  I hope other schools can learn from our experience.  And, of course, I hate that we might have to forfeit games and championships because of this.  But in the end, I hope UNC athletics will come out of this with the emphasis back on being a student first, then an athlete.

I Love YA Fiction (and I'm Not Afraid to Admit It)

I love to read.  My mom used to get frustrated with me when I spent my mornings reading the back of the cereal box instead of actually eating breakfast.

Now that I am an adult, I can read at the table (although I do realize how rude I am being to my family, so I usually don't).  But I read everywhere else - while I'm drying my hair and putting on makeup, while standing in line, while waiting to pick my son up from school, while he is watching TV, before bed... I could go on.

Reading is my escape, my pleasure, my sanity-saver.

A few months ago, Ruth Graham wrote an article for Slate called "Against YA," saying that adults should be embarrassed if what they are reading was meant for children.  I disagree.

Young adult, or even children's literature, can be just as interesting, entertaining and thought-provoking as "adult" literature.  I've never bought into the belief that "good" books have to be impenetrable to the casual reader.

I actually love to read all genres.  My library bag usually has a mix of mysteries, thrillers, contemporary fiction, chick lit, fantasy and classics.  About the only thing I don't love is horror.  I am too empathetic.  When I read, I tend to live the characters' lives, and horror scares me too much.

Are there bad YA books? Sure, just like there are bad adult books.  And what is bad and what is good is subjective.  I had this conversation with another mom just a couple of weeks ago.  She saw the book I was reading, and said her daughter had tried it, and just couldn't get into it.  I finished it, and liked it a lot.

So here is my list that I would recommend.  I don't have The Fault in Our Stars, or the Divergent or Hunger Games series on here; everyone knows about those.  But these might have slipped under the radar and are worth a look!

The Last Dragonslayer and The Song of the Quarkbeast - Jasper Fforde: I love this author.  He also has written some fantastic adult books.  He creates alternate realities you want to live in.  This series is about a young woman who is running a company who has magicians for rent, in a time when magic is drying up, and she may be the only hope to bring back Big Magic.  There are kings, dragons, quarkbeasts (aren't you curious about what they are???), and a lot of humor that adults will appreciate as much as children.

A Corner of White and The Cracks in the Kingdom - Jaclyn Moriarty: If you like Jasper Fforde, you will love these books, too.  Both Jaclyn and Jasper have a quirky sense of humor and create alternate realities that seem like they could be real.  This series is about a young girl in our world who finds a way to communicate with a boy in the world of Cello.  This kind of communication is forbidden in Cello, but why?  And can they send more than just a slip of paper, or can they find a way to solve the mystery that is occurring in both of their worlds?

Revolution - Deborah Wiles: This book about Mississippi during the Freedom Summer of 1964.  Children (and even adults) who weren't alive during that time cannot fathom this world. [As an aside, I am not saying racism does not still exist.  But there aren't governors physically blocking students from entering a school, police using tear gas and fire hoses to subdue a peaceful protest and towns closing public pools so they don't have to integrate.]  This story is written from the viewpoint of children, and includes wonderful photos, quotes and song lyrics from the time.  It would be a great place to start the conversation about race and our country's history of treating others as less than human.

The Glass Sentence - S.E. Grove: I just finished this one a few weeks ago.  Again, this falls into the fantasy/alternative reality genre.  A young lady whose parents disappeared when she is young is being raised by her uncle, who is a cartographer extraordinaire in a world where different areas of the world are in different time periods.  Maps help people navigate from country to country, but also time period to time period, and when her uncle is kidnapped, she will stop at nothing to get him back and figure out the map he left her and why it is important.

The Mysterious Benedict Society Series - Trenton Lee Stewart: This one is really aimed at even younger audiences, probably the late elementary school crowd, and I cannot wait for my son to be old enough to enjoy them!  They are about some young children (all orphans of some sort) who are recruited to go on a secret mission only they can complete.  You cheer for the children, gasp at the villains, and like that the happy endings are a little different than you might expect!

Code Name Verity: Elizabeth Wein: This book is set during World War II, and tells the story of what some extraordinary women did to help the war effort, sacrificing so much to serve their country.  A great one to foster conversations about war, propaganda, and world history.

The Ring and the Crown - Melissa de la Cruz: This is a story about two young girls, one who is destined to become queen, and one who is to be her magician (which is how her family has kept their power over the Franco-British Empire).  Not only is the storytelling wonderful, and the characters real, but the ending isn't what you expect.  A book that surprises you is one worth reading.

The Finishing School Series - Gail Carriger: These are just fun reads.  You have young ladies living on a dirigible, learning how to be proper and make a good match... and also learning how to throw a knife, poisoning and the other finer arts of espionage.  Steampunk at its finest!

Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes - Chris Crutcher:  We read this in my book club, and really started me reading young adult fiction again.  Eric and Sarah are friends, and outcasts in their high school, because Eric is fat and Sarah was badly burned as a child.  But as Eric starts swimming and shedding pounds, and Sarah tries to deal with her past, everything changes.  This book is another great conversation-starter that I am sure I will use when my son is older to talk about friendship, how to treat others with respect, and how important it is to stand up for what is right.


Now it is your turn.  Any books I should add to my list?

Why is it Easier to Be a Stay at Home Mom (and Why it is Harder)

I was in charge of a catalog fundraiser at my son's school, so I've spent every morning for the last two and a half weeks sitting at a table in the main foyer of the school.  Other moms helped me take the order forms and money from the kids, making sure everything was filled out and correct.

Some of these moms work outside the home; others, like me, do not.  And you can probably tell tell us apart with one look.  The working moms look like they've had a shower, have on makeup, and are dressed nicely.  I (and I will focus on myself, and not the others) have not even brushed my hair.

Now granted, I have run my fingers through my hair, and my hair is short and fine, so I can get away with that.  I have on clothes, not PJs, but I pretty much wore the same two pairs of jeans or a pair of exercise shorts, and a sweatshirt or fleece jacket every morning.  I didn't stink or anything, but it was obvious, at least to me, that I was not (as my mom would put it) ready for the day.

This got me to thinking about what is great about being a stay-at-home mom, and what is not.  These are applicable to my life now, with a grade-school kid, so moms with younger kids may not have lucked into all of this yet!

What is Great About Being a Stay-At-Home Mom

1. Getting Ready in the Morning:  As I mentioned above, I rarely shower before I drop my kid off at school.  Having just one seven-year-old to get ready in the morning is SO much easier than having to get myself mostly ready before he even wakes up.

2. School/Church/Community Involvement:  Don't have a full-time job?  Then you are going to be VERY popular with your school/church/community groups.  I volunteer a lot.  Part of me feels like that is my "duty" as a stay-at-home parent, because organizations like Meals on Wheels rely on people who can deliver meals at a certain time in the morning.  The best part of being a volunteer is that, for the most part, you choose what you do, and how long you do it.  I also can help with picture day at school, go on field trips and attend the Book Character Parade on Halloween without worrying about taking time off work.

3. Free Time:  Yes, I rail against people who say that stay-at-home moms do nothing but sit around and eat bon bons.  But I do have to admit, especially now that my little guy is in elementary school, I do have free time to read and relax.  I think that all people should have some time that is truly their own to recharge their batteries, and moms need this most of all (because of the reasons in the next list!).

4. Sunny Days: Enough said.

5. Meals:  I make a meal most nights (or reheat leftovers).  I cannot imagine trying to prepare something at 5:30, right after a long day of work, while my child (or children) are whining about being hungry and having so much homework to do, when all I want to do is relax and unwind.  Working moms, I bow down to you.

6. Appointments:  I can plan my medical, dental and beauty appointments while my child is in school.  His appointments can be right after school, and there's never any worry about getting back to work on time.

7. Sick Days: This actually belongs on both lists, because there are good things and bad things about being the primary caregiver of a child.  But I will admit I don't have to worry about finding someone to cover me at the hospital/office/classroom, or cancelling the presentation that I've spent weeks working on because I have a sick kid.

8.  Homework: It is done before dinner.  Easy peasy.  More time to play after dinner.  Win-win for everyone.

9. The Extras: When my son needed physical and occupational therapy, I was able to set those (weekly) appointments up without worrying about a work schedule.  When he was younger, he got to take Kindermusik and Little Gym classes, attend the weekly library fun times, and visit children's museums on weekday mornings.

But it is not all sun and roses on this side of the fence...

Why It is Hard to be a Stay-At-Home Mom

1. Sick Days: Sick days are bad, no matter what.  But when you're the primary caregiver, you're probably the one who has stayed up with this kid the night before.  You're the one who will be with him or her all day while he/she is whiny or fussy or throwing up.  And guess what, you'll be the one with them the next day, too!  And if you have more than one child, you're trying to keep them away from the sick one, get them where they need to be, and hoping they don't get sick, too.  It is exhausting, which leads to..

2. Sick Days, Part 2: You don't get any.  If you are sick, you may get a few hours of rest while your child is in school.  But you still have to pick them up, or arrange transportation, and line up someone to take them to dance/karate/music lessons.   You are the one that cleans the house when someone is sick to banish all the germs, and that doesn't change, even if you are the one who is germy.  And your kid(s) still expects Mommy to play with him/her, even if you feel like a truck has run over your head.

3. You Don't Have Anything to Do That Day, Do You?: As I said earlier, I volunteer a lot.  And, for the most part, I am fine with that.  But it really is irritating when people think I have nothing to do all day and can pick up the slack.  When it is the same people doing the work, over and over again, especially when you are not getting paid for it, it can be exhausting.

4. 24/7 Workday: My job is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Actually, it isn't really, because I have a FABULOUS husband who helps out a lot when he is home.  But there are times (like summer vacation), when it is my job to entertain my son all day.  Hello pool memberships, summer camps and play dates!  But that doesn't help on the third day of rain when you've played every game in the house and you're bored stiff of watching TV.

5. Taking Your Child EVERYWHERE: My son has been to church meetings since he was a baby. He run errands with me frequently.  During the school year, I have time to do things without my little helper, but summer is tough.  And there are always meetings that happen after hours, or the days when he has a cold and shouldn't be at school, but yet isn't sick enough for me to cancel my doctor's appointment that I've waited months for... I probably won't ever tell him he once sat in the corner of the room while I had my annual gynecological exam!

6. Same Sweater, Different Day: One income often means not having the disposable income you once had.  And of course, you don't want to skimp on your child's needs - he actually outgrows shoes and clothes.  So I sigh as I look at pretty dresses and cute outfits that I would TOTALLY wear if I had a job, then pull on a pair of jeans or leggings, throw on a sweater, and move on.

7. Adult Conversation: I think this is the thing that gets most SAHMs the most.  There are days that I only speak to my husband and my son.  I love them both dearly, but I would love to be gabbing with friends or coworkers about the latest scandal, or what was on TV last night.

8. Accolades: My son tells me I'm the best mommy in the world sometimes, but in general, being at SAHM is a thankless job.  There's not a lot of positive feedback (Yeah! You kept your child alive for another 24 hours!), no project completion and no annual review, promotions or pay raises.  Again, I give my husband credit for telling me he appreciates what I do, but I am lucky.  I know not every woman gets even that.

9. Making Friends: As more and more women work outside the home, it is really tough to find other SAHMs.  I love my friends that work, and our kids certainly can play together on weekends.  But when I really need a play date is after school, early release days and teacher workdays, when my son and I are looking for something to do.  My free time is during the day, and it can be a struggle to find moms who are free at the same time to go get a coffee, browse the shops, or take a walk and talk!  I have some great friends, both working and SAHMs, but it took a lot of work to find them.

So there you have it.  My list, at least for today, of what I love and hate about being a SAHM.  I would love your feedback, and for you to add your loves and hates.  And moms who work outside the home, let me know what I have wrong.  Is the grass always greener on the other side of the fence?