Introduction, and An Open Letter to My Mom

 Um, hi, my name is Mary Beth, and I am starting a blog.

It feels a little bit like introducing yourself on the first day at school, or a new job.

Hi, my name is Mary Beth, and I hope you like what I write.

It feels awkward, and brings out every shy bone I have in my body.

Hi, my name is Mary Beth, and I want to share (parts of) my life with you.

Of course, to begin with, most of you readers will be people I already know, so I guess that's okay.  You already know my strengths and weaknesses, and love me anyway.  And if you're one of those people that I don't already know me and are reading this blog, I hope you will feel like you're one of my friends, too.

I hope to write a few times a week.  I'll share something that amused me that day, or a recipe, or a diatribe on the frustration of being a stay-at-home mom.  I will share some of myself, and look forward to hearing from some of you when something struck a chord in you, or when you tried my favorite recipe and loved it, too!

The title of my blog is Accidentally A Stay-at-Home Mom, because I TOTALLY NEVER planned on being a stay-at-home mom.  My entire childhood was spent thinking about the wonderful career I was going to have, and how I would never have to rely on a man to pay my bills.

Ha, Ha, Ha, says God.  And my mom.

Which brings me to the second part of this first post, the open letter to my mom.

Dear Mom,

Thank you for staying home with me and my brother.  I probably never thanked you for that before, and you were really amazing.  I took you for granted, and questioned why in the world a woman would choose to stay at home rather than work in the real world.  I thought to myself, "I will NEVER BE JUST a housewife!"

And here I am, on year seven of being JUST a housewife (although I do prefer the title stay at home mom).  And there's nothing JUST about this job.  It is hard, in some ways harder than being a work outside the home mom (although I guess I only had four months of that to compare this with).

My house will never be as neat as yours, or as clean as yours (as I said so many years ago, I don't see dirt!).  But I have learned why it is important to clean and neaten up your spaces.  If we have living plants, and a landscaped backyard, that is all due to my husband.  We can laugh about this now, which is good!  But I am sure both of us remember when we fought all the time about my messiness.

I did inherit your love of cooking and baking.  It always puzzles me when people say that they don't cook or bake, or feel comfortable doing so, when I have always enjoyed reading recipes and trying new things.  They don't always work out, but I am never afraid to try!  I learned that from you and from my grandmothers.  I also learned to fix enough to feed the thrashers, rather than the actual number of people coming to my house.  It's lucky my family likes leftovers!

And I hope that I do as great a job of raising my son as you did raising me and my brother.  Now I understand why staying at home is so appealing.  I love picking my son up from school, and watching his face light up when he tells me about his day.  I love helping him with his homework.  Okay, no, not really, but I love that I am able to help him with his homework in the afternoon, so he has the evening free to play and do fun things.  I love playing with him and watching his mind work while doing arts and crafts, or building with Legos, or riding his scooter.  I love the stories he makes up and the funny things he says.  I would hate to have missed some of that.

[Before someone gets upset, I am not saying that "working" moms don't get to do all of those things, too.  You do, and you do so much more that it amazes me that you squeeze it all in 24 hours.  I know I get more sleep than you do most nights!]

For our family, me staying home with our son is the right choice right now.  It was the right choice you, too, Mom, even though I didn't understand that at the time.  I can see now how volunteer work and social clubs gave you an outlet for adult conversation and feeling like you were a contributing member of society.  I love that you were involved with our schools, the PTA, and our church.  You were always there for us, even when we didn't appreciate it!

I know how hard it was to not slap my little self-righteous self when I discounted what you did for our family and didn't see the worth in being "just" a mom.  I don't remember you ever sitting me down and say, "Look, you silly girl.  One day YOU might find yourself with a demanding child who needs you more than your family needs your paycheck.  YOU might decide that while work is fulfilling, and what you do there is important to the world, the most important job you can ever have is as a parent.  YOU might have the luxury of choosing to stay home with your child so he gets the extra help he needs, while other parents work two and three jobs and worry that their child isn't getting enough help and they are falling behind."

Silly teenage me.  I know I can't go back and change my attitude then, but I can make amends by apologizing now.  You were, and are, a great mom.  We are lucky to have you.  I love you, Mom!

Your Daughter